Desperately seeking allies

God made Adam first; and from one of his ribs, almost as an afterthought, made Eve. And ever since that first book of man and woman, written unabashedly from a masculine perspective, women have been fighting to carve their own identity. Our right to education, our right to work, our right to exercise our franchise, our right to abortion — were awarded to the female population after decades of demands and protests. Even today, in many parts of the world, women continue to remain deprived of basic human rights and lag eons behind men. Ours is not an equal world and within the suppressed groups lie large sections of the female populace; those of us that don’t face deprivation are superbly privileged.

Let’s also accept that not all men are allies. The rise of women as equals, and in certain aspects, even superior to men, is not a welcome notion. Centuries of hegemonic thinking cannot allow an easy toppling of the world order. No, not all have to be feminists, but the reality is that many are haters; resentful of the empowerment of the female race. Therefore, rape becomes the ultimate theft of a woman’s power. A forceful, dastardly act that can reduce any empowered woman to a mess of blood, shame, and trauma. Rapes are not just a violation of female bodies; they are rarely for lust and more often fuelled by anger and abhorrence. Rapes are a message to all of us that no matter how much we may project liberation, how much we may achieve in life, it takes one deviant human being to rob us of everything. To disenfranchise us, deal a crippling blow to women’s movements, and even end lives.

In the aftermath of recent rape cases, you may have seen trending social media posts of #NotAllMen to distinguish between the good blokes and bad. And sure, there are a few chaste ones who haven’t raped or assaulted a woman. But if you have kept quiet when someone else crossed a line, then — yes, all men are perpetrators in some sense. Did you partake in the objectification of women on WhatsApp group forwards? Did you laugh when a buddy cracked a crude locker room joke about a girl? Did you stay silent, knowing very well that a relative beats up his wife after a night’s drink? Did you scold your teenage son for denigrating a female schoolmate for her looks? Did you protest when an unknown girl on the street was being eve-teased? Did you speak up for a colleague who you knew was sexually harassed by a boss? If you did none of those, you are part of the problem, even though you may not have done anything yourself. Your silence was acquiescence.

A woman is raped in India every 16 minutes! But the question is do we truly want change? Because a revolution won’t come with only women protesting. We need the men, we need the allies, we need the numbers that will propel action and bring about transformative change in society. But do we even want stricter laws, higher conviction rates of rape cases, and better security for women in India? Then how do we currently have 151 sitting Members of Parliament (MPs) and Members of Legislative Assembly (MLAs) embroiled in various cases of crimes against women; 16 of whom can face rape charges? It’s befuddling that we expect women to be safe in a country whose elected representatives have allegations of sexual assault. How can we do better if we can’t even vote better? No politician with an unresolved case of sexual assault or harassment should be allowed to contest or be nominated to the upper house. If we are serious about providing a secure environment for our girls, stop pussyfooting on major decisions. We want sweeping judicial reforms that fast-track rape cases and mete out the most severe punishments. Things are terribly wrong, when ‘Kolkata rape video’ and ‘rape porn’ searches flood the internet. The moral compass is awry, the social conscience is tottering; the growing number of crimes against women is not normal; it’s not okay.

There’s a question doing the rounds of social media triggered by a TikTok video that asks women all over the world — if in a forest, would they rather encounter a man or a bear? Most women, overwhelmingly, chose the bear. For women to trust men, the latter need to be part of the solution; not sulk in the corners nursing bruised hollow egos. Calling all male allies — stand up, show up.

The writer is an author and media entrepreneur. Views expressed are personal