‘Even four years ago, I was struggling to find good roles’

Manoj Bajpayee is a name synonymous with some of the most iconic performances in Indian cinema. From ‘Bandit Queen’, ‘Gangs of Wasseypur’, ‘Bhonsle’, ‘Sonchiriya’, ‘Pinjar’, ‘Gali Guleiyan’, ‘Joram’ to ‘The Family Man’, Bajpayee has carved a niche for himself as one of the finest actors in the industry. Yet, his journey has not been easy. It’s surprising to hear that a multiple National Award-winning actor struggled to find a good role even four years ago. His latest film, ‘Despatch’ on ‘Zee5’, where he plays a crime reporter, is earning rave reviews. In this investigative drama, Bajpayee delivers a masterful performance with effortless ease. From his acting process to his thoughts on success, the actor opens up to ‘Millennium Post’ in an exclusive chat.

You have played such a variety of roles throughout your career. Do you think other actors envy your film choices?

Are they? I don’t think so. I see other actors making very different choices. They want to achieve something entirely different from what I set out to do. I’m safe in my space. I get their love and respect and some of them are such fantastic performers. They often send me messages of appreciation and compliments. If my life or career inspires others, I’m more than happy.

You said in an interview that Kanu Behl, director of ‘Despatch’, is a difficult director to work with.

Yes, because his process is very demanding. He wants to take you into the deepest and darkest corners of a character’s psyche - a place most actors hesitate to go. I didn’t struggle with him as much because I come from the theatre. I’ve attended hundreds of workshops, so I’m used to this kind of intense preparation. But I understand why many actors might find it intimidating. Kanu really pushes you to inhabit the character fully and though it’s tough, it challenges and improves you as an actor.

You’ve played many dark, intense characters. Is it difficult to leave that darkness behind after the film ends?

Yes, it is. That’s why actors need breaks. Many actors seek help from psychiatrists or adopt their ways of healing and recovery. Everyone has their own process to come out of such roles and reset.

It’s been a long journey since ‘Bandit Queen’ in 1994. With four National Awards and so many impactful roles, what’s been your biggest takeaway?

It’s been a rollercoaster journey. Most people don’t know this, but even four years ago, I was struggling to find good roles. It’s never been easy. Somehow, I was managing my career but never gave up. The industry is largely driven by commerce and mainstream content, where there’s very little space for actors like me. I’ve had to work hard to connect with new talents, get films made and bring them to audiences. All this has been a tough task. Balancing independent cinema with mainstream films has been tough. My journey hasn’t been a smooth ride. It’s been a journey of major downs and few ups.

How do you define struggle and success?

If you want to understand struggle and success, just look at my career.

You’ve always been closely associated with theatre. Do you still find time to watch plays?

Yes, I do. I visit Prithvi Theatre, which is close to my home, whenever I’m free.

And do you think a theatre background helps actors to shine?

More than helping you shine; I think theatre gives you a strong foundation. If you want to make it in a cinema, I personally believe that starting in theatre is important.

Thrill pill

Shekhar Kapur watched ‘Despatch’ at IFFI. How has the audience reacted to the film at festivals?

The response has been fantastic, especially from serious cinema lovers. For cinephiles, ‘Despatch’ on ‘Zee5’ is a delight. Kanu Behl has created a pure classic that delves into the life of a journalist. His character study of Joy, the investigative journalist, is so detailed. It’s not your typical fast-paced thriller. It’s a film that takes its time with the story and explores the character deeply.