Mastering mental fortitude

No one likes to be manipulated, yet most of the world may resort to it at some point. Manipulative psychological techniques affect us all, often without our awareness. Whether in personal relationships or professional settings, manipulation can be subtle yet pervasive. What's more concerning is that we may unknowingly employ these tactics ourselves, causing unintended harm to those around us.

1. Gaslighting: Gaslighting involves the manipulation of someone's perception of reality to make them doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and sanity. This tactic often involves denying or trivialising the victim's experiences, making them feel confused and insecure.

Example: If your friend constantly tells you that you're overreacting and imagining things when you express concerns about their behaviour, they might be gaslighting you.

What to do: Trust your instincts and seek validation from trusted friends or professionals if you're unsure about your reality.

2. Guilt Tripping: Using guilt as a tool to manipulate someone into doing what the manipulator wants, and often it involves exaggerating the impact of the victim's actions or making them feel guilty to get you to do what they want.

Example: For instance, if your friend says, "I can't believe you're not helping me after all I've done for you," when you refuse to lend them money.

What to do: Set boundaries and communicate assertively; don't let guilt dictate your actions.

3. Shaming:. The shamer might use judgmental language, criticism, or ridicule to attack your self-esteem and make you doubt your worth.

Example: If your classmate mocks you for getting a lower grade than them in a test in front of others, they're shaming you.

What to do: Recognise your worth and refuse to internalise negative judgments from others.

4. Negging: A tactic where someone gives you backhanded compliments or subtly insults you to undermine your confidence and make you seek their approval.

Example: If someone tells you, "You're pretty for someone who's not that outgoing," they're negging you.

What to do: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you; ignore or confront those who try to undermine your confidence.

5. Projection: This is a play on a defense mechanism where someone accuses you of having traits or feelings that they actually have themselves.

Example: Your partner accuses you of being jealous of their success when they're actually jealous of yours.

What to do: Identify if you do this to others by building awareness.

6. Emotional blackmail: Emotional blackmail is when someone threatens you with emotional consequences to get you to comply with their demands.

Example: Your partner threatens to break up with you unless you do what they want.

What to do: Stand firm and refuse to be manipulated; seek support from friends or authorities if necessary.

7. Silent Treatment: When someone ignores you or withholds communication as a form of punishment or control. This tactic can leave the victim feeling isolated, anxious, and desperate for validation or attention.

Example: Your parents may give you the silent treatment & stop communication after you disagree with them.

What to do: Respectfully address the issue with open communication; set boundaries regarding acceptable behaviour.

8. Infantilization: Infantilisation is when someone treats you like a child to undermine your independence and control you.

Example: If your parents insist on doing everything for you and refuse to let you make your own decisions as an adult, they may be infantilising you.

What to do: Assert your independence and make decisions that align with your values and goals.

9. Triangulation: When someone involves a third party to manipulate or control a situation or relationship. The manipulator often uses the third party to create conflict, gain leverage, or avoid direct confrontation

Example: If your partner complains about you to their friend instead of discussing issues directly with you, they're using triangulation.

What to do: Encourage direct communication.

10. Scapegoating: A manipulative technique where someone unfairly blames another person or group for problems, faults, or failures, often as a way to deflect responsibility or avoid accountability. The scapegoat is made to bear the burden of others' mistakes or shortcomings

Example: Blaming a co-worker for a project's failure, despite multiple contributing factors.

What to do: Stand up against unfair blame, talk openly about problems, and support each other in finding solutions.

What to do if you are being manipulated: Seek professional help to understand your emotions better, build on assertiveness, and establish better boundaries.

What to do if you are manipulating others: Seek professional help to build empathy, improve communication, and foster emotional growth.

Send your questions to help@dreradutta.com