International Women’s Day: Be selfish

It’s not often that you will find a woman bursting into a room, raising her voice in a meeting, or sitting at the head of a table. It’s not unheard of but rather still uncommon. Women are not naturally ‘first’ in line for things either — first to speak, first to be promoted, or first to lead. They are, however, expected to be the first to sacrifice, compromise, or adjust. We are built that way; made to be more pliable and accommodating. Nature has made us biologically softer than men, our ability to empathize is almost always on a higher rung, many of us take decisions governed by the heart as equally as the head, sometimes the former is a greater decision-maker.

Of course, I would not pass up the opportunity to write about women on the occasion of International Women’s Day. I don’t believe in restrictive days that serve consumerism more than anything else; but these observance days are not totally purposeless. They build awareness, generate interest and spark conversations. And in my annual IWD column, it’s a chance to address my fellow sisters; so here goes.

Historically, it’s been easy to trample all over women, shove us aside, or silence us completely. But the “times they are a changin’”. If there’s one thing that Gen Z can teach us, it’s the right to be heard. No matter how ludicrous or unreasonable that may be, the latest generation is more demanding of its perceived rights than many of us have ever been. If there’s a reset happening within the paradigms of gender, it’s happening now. So, let me add to this gradual discovery of “the self” and add something for my fellow sisters — be selfish. Take self-love up a notch to think about yourself over others. And I know it will be the most impossible task indeed, because remember, we are natural care-givers and multi-taskers. But it’s imperative today to be selfish and ask for more from life, from your role in the household, and place in society.

When the going gets tough, it’s the women who face the brunt of it. An unwell parent, a child on the way, no domestic support — and women are the first to quit jobs to stay home. Mostly, no one even asks them; it’s not a discussion, it’s taken as a given that between a man and a woman, the man has the more “important job”. Women’s desires assume second place; it’s fine if their aspirations are dashed; it’s no big deal if their lives remain unfulfilled as long as their womb is. And most women won’t even bat an eyelid. The intergenerational coaching is such that it’s rare for women to have had their abilities fueled from a young age. Make the home beautiful, cook delicious meals for your family, take care of the young and old, knit well, cook well, clean well — these are ingrained into our psyche. And that’s why an ambitious woman stands out in the crowd; even among her own, she is viewed as different. Her drive for growth and success scares those around her; she’s the anomaly, but let’s make her the norm.

In my weekly columns, I often cite data and reports to corroborate my observations. Women, who comprise almost half the Indian population, are still struggling to claim a sizeable presence in the workforce. Just a 10 per cent increase in participation could add USD 770 billion to the gross domestic product (GDP). More women at the workplace translates to good business, better economics, and a happier, financially healthier household. As per a GoDaddy report, about 37 per cent of the women-led small businesses in India are the main breadwinners in their family.

The Indian government recently stated this week that female participation in the labour force has climbed from 23 per cent in 2017-18 to 42 per cent in 2023-24. Simultaneously, blue-collar hiring platform WorkIndia said in its report that “despite incremental progress, our data underscores the harsh reality that women in blue-collar jobs continue to face systemic hurdles that limit their career growth”, finding themselves typecast into low-skilled gendered roles such as telecalling and maid services while field sales, marketing, and back-office jobs are contracting.

But today, I don’t want to just write these stats and figures. As I said earlier on, this is an appeal to my fellow sisters, a call to arms if you may. Unlearn the biases that have been placed in your mind about your own self. Forget the brainwashing — your life, wants, and ambitions are important, whatever they may be. Unshackle your wings that unnoticed by you have been clipped forever. Speak loudly, grab attention, demand your rights at home and at work, and simply, spread your wings and soar.

The writer is an author and media entrepreneur. Views expressed are personal