Different loves

As the doyen of Indian music breathed her last leaving behind almost a century of musical history, Lata Mangeshkar's demise evoked a plethora of memories in all of us. Outpourings of grief mostly surrounded the way her music permeated various stages of our lives. Personally, I haven't been a big fan of some of her more nasal ditties of later years, but her older songs have been haunting and like many others' lives, she touched mine too. 'Ajeeb dastan hai yeh', 'Tere bina zindagi se', 'Gaata rahe mera dil'…so many countless songs, composed and sung way before my time, but all absolutely spectacular, all evoking emotions of youth, love, loss. While we mourned the passing away of the Nightingale of India, the story that stuck in my mind most was her life-long relationship with Rajsingh Dungarpur, the late BCCI Chief and Prince of Dungarpur. A quiet, patient, endearing bond the nature of which remains even today largely mysterious and full of conjecture. Were they close friends or lovers, did they get secretly married, why didn't they take their relationship public, was social class an impediment or difference in age? Frankly, none of those interest me; what's intriguing however is the enduring love between the two; something that remained untainted no matter the kind of relationship between them.

As we near yet another day of love with brands and companies gushing about how we should celebrate it (mainly by what we should buy for our loved ones), I felt it would be poignant to talk about love. Disclaimer: We don't need one day to celebrate love; every day should be a commemoration of feelings, a declaration of love-infused protestations, and declarations of undying, ever-lasting amore. And take out the consumerism out of love, please. Don't fall prey to the innumerable ways of professing love, and remember that roses, chocolates, and diamonds are mere commodities that can never ever fully convey our deepest emotions. They are but lazy expressions of love where true emotions play no part. Nothing spells love more than standing by your partner during tough times in sickness (mainly) and in health, and those tiny, numerous actions through the day, that convey love without the grandeur of Valentine's Day arrangements.

Today, I want to spend a moment celebrating different loves. The kinds that may not follow so-called social norms, the ones that don't need legal sanctions or stay the unconsummated kinds. History and literature are dotted with stories of unrequited love; stories of tragic paramours or star-crossed ones. Some of the most renowned artists have created their masterpieces and magnum opuses coming from broken hearts. "Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thoughts," aptly wrote English romantic poet, Percy Bysshe Shelley.

Even in heartbreak, it was love that influenced their lives and works. While we celebrate the power couples that are taking over the world by storm, there's much to be said for the ones that never did end up together or the ones that stayed under the radar like Lata and Rajsingh.

Love can also be of the unromantic kind; the love for one's craft, a devotion to God, a selfless commitment to serving people, or pursuing knowledge, art, skill. Some people spend decades doing research, working towards scientific breakthroughs, searching for life on planets other than Earth. Once in a while, you'll meet a recluse, who's perfectly content in his or her hermit life. While we hail their ability to stay without romantic companionship, deep down we feel sorry that they have not experienced 'love'. But we in our naivete we disregard those other pursuits can also be equally fulfilling and that too is a kind of love.

As a society, we are taught to expect only the conventional as the gold standard, the one to aspire to. But can anyone truly dictate the depths of love and put retaining walls around it? Love, that ephemeral feeling, flits in and out of our lives. If we are lucky, we enjoy long years of it. For many, they are chance meetings, brief trysts, cut short by fate or disease. For others, it's an eternal journey doing what they love, sometimes with companionship and many times within their own selves.

The writer is an author and media entrepreneur. Views expressed are personal