Breaking fatherhood stereotypes

If you are a 90's kid reading this article, I am sure you must have witnessed quite a few changes in the concept of love, relationships, academics, career choices, marriages and also the recent change the world is witnessing – the role of a man in his wife's pregnancy.

While India is still planning to extend maternal leaves to 26 weeks, Sweden, on the other hand, became the first country in the world to replace maternity leave with parental leave, back in 1974. Moreover, it has one of the world's most generous parental insurance schemes, enabling parents to stay home with their children for 480 days, paid for by the state.

To uncover the myths about fatherhood and patriarchy, and further throw light on the subject of 'Importance of paternity leaves', Sweden embassy organised an exhibition titled 'Delhi Dads Meet Swedish Dads', and a panel discussion on January 31, at Embassy of Sweden, New Delhi.

The idea of this exhibition and introspective discussion was to understand the need of 'breaking the stereotypes of fatherhood' and get an idea about what a father is required to do for his family, more than just earning the bread and butter.

The photo exhibition on the other hand was a combined attempt of Johan Bavman, a freelance photographer based in Sweden and Srimon Chatterjee, an Indian photographer. The exhibition which was divided into two sections showcased the Swedish dads who stay at home to take care of their kids and divide equal roles and responsibilities with the mother. Also, it focused on Indian dads trying to take an active parenting role.

In order to discuss the importance of a father's indulgence in parenting and the need of paternity leave, the panelists for the discussion – Johan Bavman, Swedish photographer; Namita Bhandare, Delhi-based freelance journalist, and CHSJ member Badar Uzzama noted some points which are often neglected by the society when it comes to fatherhood.

Johan, who has attempted to capture the beautiful moments of various Swedish dads with their kids believes that being parents is the combined effort and experience of both the male and females counterparts. The photographer says that even he was on paternity leave when his child was born and he was happy to be a part of that journey.

"I think the concept of masculinity is flawed in our society to some extent. We need to re-work on the definition and we need to understand that being a man of the house is more than paying cheques and ensuring proper flow of income in the family."

Stating her point of view on patriarchy, the need of understanding a man's role in his child's upbringing and the need of sharing responsibilities, Namita said: "It is not only about paternal leaves. The problem of patriarchy and superiority amongst the males is deep-rooted somewhere in our society."

A study conducted in 2018 found that all over the world, no man shares even the 50-50 responsibilities of care work at home as compared to what women do. In India, women on an average spend at least four hours a day in taking care of the family, whereas men take maximum 31 minutes time out of their schedule.

Drawing the concerns of fathers and their take on this issue, Badar Uzzama said that it is not like fathers don't want to share responsibilities or they do not want to spend time with their kids, but it is just that – firstly, they are scared of doing anything incorrectly and secondly, with the stereotype that surrounds our society, it is always considered that mothers will take care of the children while the father will go out and earn money.

Understanding what fathers want and what they are needed for, Swedish companies like Ikea and H&M have taken a lead by introducing parental leave also for men as part of their parental leave policies in India.