‘It’s about involvement, not screen time’

From her memorable yet powerful portrayal of Debbie Mascarenhas in ‘Rock On!!’ (2008), which earned her the Filmfare Critics’ Award for ‘Best Actress’, to her performances in hard-hitting films like ‘Firaaq’, ‘Midnight’s Children’, ‘A Suitable Boy’, ‘Zwigato’ and ‘Santosh’, Shahana Goswami has established herself as a reliable and versatile actress. Her latest film, ‘Santosh’, has been selected as the UK’s official entry for the ‘Best International Feature Film’ category at the Oscars 2025. Now, with her new project, ‘Despatch’, also starring Manoj Bajpayee, streaming on ‘Zee5’, we catch up with Shahana to discuss her films and more.

It seems like Manoj Bajpayee and you share a love for complex characters.

(Laughs) Yes, the dynamic between his character and mine is also complex. So, I suppose the saga continues.

Tell us about your character in ‘Despatch’ on ‘Zee5’.

I play Shweta, the wife of Manoj Bajpayee’s character, Joy, in ‘Despatch’ on ‘Zee5’. The story primarily revolves around an investigative journalist who gets entangled in a case. However, alongside this main narrative, we see the other facets of his life, including his marriage, which is nearing its breaking point. I think that space is very interesting and complex, with alternating and conflicting emotions of anger, despair, desperation, hope and anguish. My role is much smaller, but I believe it adds a unique layer to the storytelling.

You’ve never been concerned about taking on small roles.

For me, it’s not about the length of the role but about the sense of involvement while shooting. When you feel like you’re shouldering something meaningful, that’s what matters. I felt that intensely during this shoot because Kanu Behl, the director, likes to work in a very immersive way. He shoots long takes and does multiple takes for each scene. We often focused on just one scene a day, so the process became very emotionally engaging. That kind of involvement is what I seek as an actor. It’s not always about how long the character is on screen but about the experience of portraying them and collaborating with the director and co-actors.

Manoj Bajpayee mentioned in an interview that Kanu Behl can be a difficult director. How was your experience working with him?

Manoj had a lot more days of work with Kanu so he might have experienced the process more intensely. Kanu’s working style can indeed be exhausting. Each day brings a new location and there’s a lot of movement. He also likes to do multiple takes, which can be physically and mentally taxing. In my case, I was on set for a shorter period and while the scenes I shot weren’t physically demanding, they were emotionally intense. Kanu’s approach is always about digging deeper, whether it’s into the character, the moment or the emotion of a scene.

You often describe yourself as an untrained actor. Do you follow any specific process to get into character?

No, I don’t have a set process. I often feel like I’m inadequate or lack the technical skills to play certain characters. There’s always a fear that someday I won’t be able to pull off a role because I don’t have enough training. That said, I’ve come to realise that this self-criticism is part of who I am. When I started, I wasn’t formally trained, but after 20 years in the industry, I think it’s fair to say I’ve received the best kind of training on the job. I’ve had the privilege of learning from incredible collaborators, teachers and mentors. So now, instead of saying I’m untrained, I’ll say I started untrained but have since gained invaluable experience.

Your film ‘Santosh’ premiered in the ‘Un Certain Regard’ section at the Cannes Film Festival. It’s said you experienced a breakdown before shooting.

(Laughs) Yes, I did. I felt completely unprepared and overwhelmed because I didn’t know my character well enough. I had no idea how she walked, talked or behaved and I began doubting whether I was the right person for the role. I think I was putting too much pressure on myself to change how I work. There’s this ingrained middle-class belief that unless you’re working yourself to exhaustion, you’re not doing enough. I fell into the trap of comparing myself to friends and colleagues I admire, who approach their craft differently. Over time, I’ve realised that not having any process is my process. It’s about trusting myself and the moment.

Respect matters

Your filmography is incredibly diverse. Do you think the Hindi film industry has utilised your potential to its fullest?

I don’t think it’s anyone’s responsibility to fully utilise an actor, director or technician. It’s up to us to find our own path and flow.

That said, I feel incredibly fortunate. The mainstream Indian film industry has welcomed me with open arms and I’ve always been met with respect and admiration. I don’t have any complaints in that regard. I’ve come to understand that respect is something you can’t buy and it’s what I value the most. It’s a business at the end of the day, with many factors influencing creative decisions on a larger scale. But I’ve always felt deeply respected and for that, I’m very grateful.