New delhi: Sarah Khan (name changed) still shudders to think about the night she witnessed something that would have shaped her mindset and existence as she knows it. Sarah is a second year student at Jamia Millia Islamia and hails from a small town in Uttar Pradesh. Coming from an influential background, Sarah had grown up in a peaceful environment.
On December 15 last year, Sarah was inside the campus along with her classmates, all of whom were studying in the library. Sarah has difficulty narrating the story as she tells Millennium Post that she is suffering from PTSD since that incident. "I start having anxiety attacks in front of the police. The flashes of that night still haunt me and I do not think I can ever forget it," she told this newspaper over the phone.
The students of Jamia Milia Islamia had given a call to protest against the Citizen Amendment Act (CAA) on December 13, 2019, which instantly turned violent as the students and police clashed. The students were trying to march when the police used force to stop them.
On December 15, 2019 as students and locals marched in the locality against the bill, violence erupted. According to various testimonies, the Delhi Police had used force on peaceful protesters injuring many and breaking the libraries in the campus.
On December 16 last year, Sarah had left the hostel and gone as her parents were in panic.
"I have not seen my room or college since then as my parents did not allow me to come back and there was COVID. I miss everything about Jamia, I cry sometimes thinking about what had happened," she recalled.
Like Sarah, many students still face difficulty coming on terms with the whole incident.
Another student, who did not want to be named said that she fears repetition of such incidents. Even though police has denied it, there is evidence to prove that the police had entered the campus and beaten up the students. Tear gas was also fired inside the campus.
"How can we not believe that they (Delhi Police) will not do it again? Our college administration was also worthless. I am just scared that this can happen again. Even though we are part of this prestigious university, I still cannot fathom the fact this happened. This is oppression," the student from Jamia said.
She added that she does not expect any justice from anyone. "All of us feel that there is no hope and we have to fight this alone, but that still does not mean we will stop fighting," she said.
Many students, meanwhile, are still skeptical to come back, while others have come back. Even though it has been a year, the trauma is still visible with many students getting nauseated just remembering the night it all happened.